22 Comments
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Pam Sander's avatar

I gotta get an Apple Annie’s carrot cake now! Jonnerhea def your best yet!

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Sandy Woodward's avatar

Celia, thank you for watching Fox News so I don’t have to! Every day these lunatics show how unfit they are to serve our country. It is just too damn much to hope that this self-righteous charlatan might one day prove that HE matters!

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Lisa Noecker's avatar

Jonarhea! sp? 😂And yo! Uncle Fester fan front and center!🤓

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Sheila Ide's avatar

Considering 64% of working people need medicaid because their employees DO NOT provide any insurance. Have to yell for the magots in the back. Then another percentage care for sick relatives, are disabled or going to school, the 6% of those left scamming the system must be costing us billions! I love carrot cake but am willing to give peaches a try. Great mental break from you as always.

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Jimmy Williams's avatar

OK, the new middle name, Jonorrhea, kinda made me squirm. Can I still get the "fairy dust," just in case? Seriously, can this really be happening?

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Carole Bellacera's avatar

“Jonorria” “dumbassery.” LOL moments!

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Tim Gee's avatar
4dEdited

Does anyone remember the summer of 2016 when there was a short series on TV called Brain Dead? In the show, extraterrestrial insect-like “brain bugs” land in D.C., burrow into lawmakers’ ears, and turn them into hyper-partisan, ultra-purist extremists. It was great — and it would explain a lot in the context of 2025. Now I’m convinced it was not so much sci-fi as it was a prophecy.

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Lynn Pope's avatar

There was a show on some years back . . . hmm, oh yeah, BrainDead. Tony Shalhoub was in it. It must have been too on the mark for renewal.

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Mitch Coats's avatar

I'll sum up health care in trumpisstan as: Sick? get well or die but do it after you have bankrupted yourself. Billionaires need your money and you won't.

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Amy's avatar

Oh dear Celia…. You had me at Jonorrhea! 🤣

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

As I pack for a move from the Wilmington area back up to Virginia I listened to your excellent piece. Of course I have said that about each and everyone of them and I am so glad you will be basically moving with me and I can still listen to your wisdom. The part that captured me was "Dr. Oz seems to be saying it’s our patriotic duty to stay healthy. Not sure where accidents fit in this scenario. Perhaps our last words as we lay gasping by the side of the road will be “Fuck! I shoulda had the carrot cake.”

Years ago I was taking a cooking class in Bethesda, MD. Afterwards feeling full of optimism that I might actually craft the same dinner for my family (nope) I went to the local grocery store, Safeway. Now in that area there are one side of the street you are in DC, the other side in MD... and most time you rarely know. So as I walked through the parking lot a woman yelled, grabbed her chest and went down on the ground I ran to her and she was having a heart attack but was still conscious.

This being the time before trump and his golden shower, oooops I mean golden escalator ride and people actually helped each other. I sent one person to grab my medic bag, as I was a Cardiac Care Tech at the time, an other was calling 911. I was taking her pulse and her history and the bag arrived and I pulled my stethoscope out to listen when she sat bolt upright and yelled get me to the other side of the parking lot. I was very confused. An 80 something man grabbed her and started trying to hoof it across the lot and about three other people all of sudden sprung into action and grabbed ankles and head and moved her to the far side of the parking lot. It was a united front of people who silently communicated with one another.

At this moment the Manager of the store came out and I grab my bag and hurry after this parade, hearing sirens coming closer. I looked at the manager and he says. That side is DC, this side is MD. You don't want to get in the ambulance for DC. They take you to Washington Med Center. The light dawned, Bethesda Chevy Chase took you to Suburban, or Adventist, or even Sibley (Babies and plastic surgery were their specialties) there was a good chance at Washington Hospital center if you went in for surgery you didn't come out upright at that time. So the DC guys arrive and she was out of their jurisdiction about 2 minutes later BCC arrived and I put her on the ambulance headed for Suburban and followed in my car to make sure we got her family on the phone, her Dr's made aware, and the manager took her groceries and put the ice cream in the freezer and put the rest in the chiller for her.

I was instructed to find out the name of the "nice man who dragged me across the parking lot", which I did, Mr. Marvin. As I stood next to her in the ER she said you know I put back that chocolate cake but when I go get my groceries I am going to get the biggest one they have.... being at Deaths door step does remind us to enjoy the cake despite worm brained idiots telling us not to.

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Sandy Woodward's avatar

What a great story! Sad about the difference in hospitals, but I love how they all knew the score and got her where she needed to be!

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D. DiGiulian's avatar

medical. 10 years ago Alberta, Canada took fluoride out of the water. Within 3 years the decay rate in children escalated so dramatically, they have now put it back in. Dr. Don DiGiulian DDS

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Bob Jesus's avatar

Jonnerhea!!! Best one yet!!! His name contains “meh”, which is a perfect reaction to him!!

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Not "gone" lie. I let out a whoop when I thought of that one.

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Peggy Sherman's avatar

How many jobs are there for 80-year-olds in nursing homes with Alzheimer's? Asking for a friend. Loved your take on him! Also, I'm now reminded of what great carrot cake Ingles makes, and now I want a slice. Thanks also for the cobbler recipe!

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

I think I will write to Dr. Oz and ask for a job at 67 and see what kind of response I get.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

If you make the cobbler let me know how you liked it. It's really easy. The oven does the hard part.

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John Pflug's avatar

Dang, I was counting on that soap bar trick. . .but thanx for the phrase "earnestly stupid". I'll steal it, often.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

John, I would be honored!

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Kim Mayo's avatar

There's a whole lotta brain worms in Washington!

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

across the country, anyone who voted for trump has at least one.

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