52 Comments
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Michael A. Burke's avatar

I have to admit that I am looking forward to Mr. Trump's state funeral...

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

I'm hoping it's more like Two Men and a Truck cart his sorry ass to a weedy gravesite beside his first wife.

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Natalie Schorr's avatar

I envision Jimmy looking down, reciting Romans 12:20 (If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.) while stoking a big old barrel barbecue. Do I smell headcheese?

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Brilliant! Love the image.

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Penny Kessler's avatar

Oh how I've missed your bite. Happy New Year.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

It's so nice to have a forum where I can be myself. I've been holding back for DECADES. For example, I nearly got fired one time for the Melania accent stuff. Like told how disrespectful and inappropriate it was. No, I explained. It's funny. Deliver me from humor-impaired newspaper editors. And they are legion.

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Carole Bellacera's avatar

Another winner, Celia. Thanks for starting out this (prolly) dismal year with a laugh. Love ya!

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Hey Carole! How's erry little thing down in Myrtle Beach?

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Carole Bellacera's avatar

Truckin along. My friends and I are coming to Wilmington for HELL AND DAMNATION DAY on January 20. Rented an ABNB. We’ll pretend our country isn’t going to hell in a hand basket.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Wonderful! LMK if you need any reccs

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Susan Pflug's avatar

You're as biting and good as ever. Love it.

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Karen Hibbert's avatar

No one says things like this better than you. I read and agree, and think to myself...why am I not that smart and funny! You rock.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Thanks, friend. You are smart AND funny so just stop it.

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Kellie O'Steen's avatar

I'm with you on the gargoyle thing, I'd pay good money to see that, and I'm so broke I can't pay attention. I don't think Mrs. I Don't Care Do You will be there. I'll be surprised if she shows up at the inauguration. The Mango Mussolini is the most disgusting excuse for a human that I can possibly think of and that includes that guy in France, you know the one. I feel for the Carter family, they will be nice and he will be an ass. I couldn't do it if I were in their position. Lord have mercy, how are we going to get through the next four years?

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

With bourbon and humor in equal measure dear Kellie.

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Kellie O'Steen's avatar

The bourbon I've got and we all have you for the humor!

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Lisa Noecker's avatar

Pineapple casserole--Sister in Law Kathi's is in the Baptist Cookbook!!

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

But of course it is!!

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D. DiGiulian's avatar

A cup of sugar?????? Don D

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Dude. Trust the process. It's so, so delish.

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

Protocol demands all former presidents and first ladies are invited to state funerals. They do not have to attend. I am sure trump wants to be able to say everyone loves him and that is why they invited him. No that is not true. I am sure the Carter family would prefer the orange bufoon to stay in Mar a Largo.

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SPW's avatar

Ugh! Trmp! A boor who smells even in the giant space of that lovely Cathedral. I’m not sure I’d be happy with those gargoyles just dropping at his feet but rather on that topmost appendage of his instead? That would teach him about showing up where he wasn’t wanted.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Ha! That it would

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Dawn's avatar

112805 only the orange one would announce his upcoming funeral attendance. Who cares?? And did Clinton, Bush, or Obama feel the need to announce their attendance? Of course protocol says all living presidents honor their fallen presidential compatriot. What a truly callow insensitive fellow.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Oh, I love the word "callow." Just perfect.

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hannah Tiffany's avatar

love it! This pineapple/cheese recipe is a requirement at all Hoskins of VA reunions. It's one of those things that is passed on to the next generation to bring. Cousin Anne's Kahlua cake is another....

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Cuz, Ima need that Kahlua cake recipe like yesterday. I got 2 bottles for Christmas gifts and I can't drink that stuff straight.

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SPW's avatar

That Kahlua cake recipe sounds verrrry interesting to me. Willing to share?

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hannah Tiffany's avatar

I don't have the recipe! It's a closely guarded secret in the possession of my 2nd cousin. I was so excited to see there was still a piece for me that I ran into the kitchen door, bumped my head and crashed to the floor, spilling all that was left on my plate! But a I got a piece of cake!

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

We will have to rough up second Cuz. I can make some shit happen...

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hannah Tiffany's avatar

I will see what I can do. Cuz'n Becky is pretty cool.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Whooohoooo!!

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Page Rutledge's avatar

Love this one! “Elbows him in the McRib..”LOL

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Thanks, friend.

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pat jobe's avatar

Oh my Lord! Crashing gargoyles? What a lovely imagination you have, dear Dr. Rosenbyanyother name. You write so good. Don't you think after both criminal convictions and losses in civil court that Trump would just parade by those gargoyles smiling and reminding us that even the architecture is involved in the "The biggest witch hunt in history." At the risk of sounding a tad negative about old 45-47, I had to wonder if he has any idea how many witches were actually burned in the real watch hunts.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Hey Pat. I think they need to salt the doors and windows 'fore he sets foot inside. Love, Dr. Rosenbark.

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Karene Manley's avatar

Anybody remember G.W. Bush Funeral with Obamas, Clintons,

CARTERS, and How they dealt with Tramp’s presence ? ?

McCain funeral ??

Oh, Lordy gimme a biscuit !

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Hey friend! I owe you a long, gushy email as soon as I finish washing these dishes....if I ever do.xxoo

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

I was at the McCain funeral and everyone, and I mean everyone tried to avoid the trumps at all costs. They were not invited since it was not considered a state funeral but they crashed it. It would have been funny if it hadn't made my blood boil on the way he had spoken of John and the petty crap on flying his casket back to AZ. Even Meghan made it clear that America did not need to be made great again as it already was as a dig at the trumps. It went over his head but I think Melania caught on she was not part of the first ladies club nor would she ever be. Some call it the funeral of resistance and it was. It was a sad day in our history, the death of the real GOP was truly buried that day.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Amen and amen. How'd you get to that funeral? I had huge respect for that man.

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

In a past life I was part of "official Washington". My first husband and I were friends of John. He would come to our home to eat "real" food, as he only knew where the microwave was in his kitchen in Arlington and even then it was touch and go. My boys adored him, and I think the feeling was mutual. Due to my upbringing, where I went to school, and my career I think that is why I despise trump so much as he is everything that is out to destroy America. In the worse way, just like Regan it is all about who has the bucks, not the knowledge.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Fascinating. Thanks for sharing. I think my genuine, old-fashioned hate for Trump was cemented when he said "I like people who aren't captured...(McCain) is no war hero." Trash.

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Christy Jobe Carter's avatar

Oh I think I was in line long before that comment... and that just added fuel to the fire as I had a neighbor who was in the camp with McCain. You know both McCain's shoulders had been broken in the crash and they did nothing for him. Due to that he always had issues getting his jackets on and off. I can not imagine the pain he had been in. Someday when I am in Wilmington to shop you and I need to get together for a gabfest Celia.

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Celia Rivenbark's avatar

Absolutely

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